Recognising domestic abuse

What do we mean by “domestic abuse”?

Domestic, family or relationship abuse are all terms used to describe the pattern of violent, threatening, bullying or controlling behaviour usually between partners or ex partners but also can be between family members. Abuse happens in a relationship when one person tries to control or hurt the other person. Children and young people who live in homes where there is domestic abuse are also affected by this. Even if you are not being physically hurt it is important to remember that domestic abuse can cause long term emotional harm so it is important for you to speak out and get help.

Everyone deserves to have safe and healthy relationships with others. If you are unsure about how healthy your relationship with another person is, take a moment to answer some of these questions:

  • Do they ever threaten to hurt or kill themselves if you end the relationship?
  • Do they ever make you feel uncomfortable or afraid?
  • Are you ever followed around or feel like you’re being watched?
  • Do they try to stop you seeing your friends or family members?
  • Are they constantly checking up on you and wanting to know where you are?
  • Do they check your phone or social media accounts?
  • Are they ever physically violent towards you (slapping, punching, pushing, choking, spitting, smashing things etc)
  • Do they ever take money off you or try to control what you spend?
  • Have they ever threatened to hurt someone you love like a family member, friend or pet?
  • Do you feel worried about how they might react if you disagree with them?
  • Have they ever forced or pressured you to do sexual things that you didn’t want to do? (This could include sending pictures of yourself.)
  • Do they call you names or make you feel worthless?
  • Do they get really jealous?
  • Have they ever threatened to tell your secrets or make up nasty rumours about you?

If you have answered “Yes” to any of these questions it could be a sign that you are not being treated right or that you are experiencing abuse. It could be that you are experiencing this in a relationship with a partner, ex–partner or a family member. You are not to blame and it doesn’t have to be this way.

If you are a young person worried about your own relationship or you are worried about someone else you can contact us for free, confidential advice and support. We understand and we are here to help, never to judge.

How can the Young People Advisor help me?

Click here if you would like to speak to someone from our team.

Help for you

If you need to speak to someone please don’t hesitate to contact us, we can help. Find out more

Help for someone else

If you know of anyone who is in trouble and needs help, please contact us. Find out more